Writing this super quick. I didn’t sleep with him. I’m super sorry. I love you. My messages aren’t sending to you, i’m not ignoring you.
I never get a chance to say goodbye everyone rips themselves out of my heart…….
Alex McCallum says (12:05 AM)
this song
srsly
i used to listen to it
every day
in 2006
every damn day
i used to be a terribly depressed angry person then
Alex McCallum says (12:06 AM)
would have been 18 19
i guess
Brooke Reid says (12:06 AM)
;o
Alex McCallum says (12:06 AM)
sigh im a messed up person huh
Brooke Reid says (12:06 AM)
We’ve all been there.
No, the fuck.
You’re one of the nicest people I’ve met, to be honest.
But, shh. ;o
Alex McCallum says (12:07 AM)
hmmm
i think thats what happens
when someones been there you know?
things i dont even wanna talk about
Brooke Reid says (12:07 AM)
;
;|
Alex McCallum says (12:07 AM)
but i think
those things
you dont even realise
Alex McCallum says (12:08 AM)
until you look back
for me atleast
last year
and no one knows i tried to tell shell but she didnt understand
i was given steroids like pills yea?
Brooke Reid says (12:08 AM)
Yeah.
Alex McCallum says (12:08 AM)
only realy serious sterioids
Alex McCallum says (12:09 AM)
like …….
to actually
help get my hearing back while wiating for that drug
and anyway
u cant just stiop taking them
i kept taking them cos i was getting huge
and thought it was awesome
was supposed to take them for 1 week
did for 5 months
Alex McCallum says (12:10 AM)
and gained 25kgs
Brooke Reid says (12:10 AM)
O_O
Alex McCallum says (12:10 AM)
and anyway i got this terrible scar
on my side i didnt know wtf it was
turned out to be a stretch mark
sigh and
i stopped taking them
thts when i ended up in hospotal
last year
Alex McCallum says (12:11 AM)
and shell was on holiday
had all these txts saying where are you alex
i need you
and vik told me she called him
cos she was scared and missed me
i was in soo omuch pain like
morphene every 2 hours
it wasnt enough
i had 13 showers a night cos the hot water
stopped the pain
Brooke Reid says (12:12 AM)
I remember that. >_>
Alex McCallum says (12:12 AM)
had fights with the nurses
cos 2 hours between mprephene was too long
it hurt so bad i had no sleep
Brooke Reid says (12:12 AM)
You were in the hospital and you acted all weird and talked about the nurses alot.
Alex McCallum says (12:12 AM)
and was crying tbh it hurt
they argued with me
Brooke Reid says (12:12 AM)
;[
Alex McCallum says (12:12 AM)
i got an ambulance to hospital u k
it hurt so bad
Alex McCallum says (12:13 AM)
and had xrays 4 days later
the doctor that saw me on day 1
went OMFG!!
cos i was in a wheel chair to the xray and hes like holy shit
your reeally in pain!
and called the head nurse
who went crazy at all the others
for not telling her
and i was gonna die from the pain
i couldnt stand
Alex McCallum says (12:14 AM)
i found a chair and put it the shower
and cried missing shelley
i didnt tell any of my friends
sigh
shell doesnt know this
for a week and they were gonna operate cos
they didnt know what was wrong
and 8 days later
Brooke Reid says (12:14 AM)
Wow.
Alex McCallum says (12:14 AM)
they upgraded the morphene
Alex McCallum says (12:15 AM)
and i cried cos the pain stopped finally
for a while and i talked to u
and vik
i didnt know how to explain
and i missed shelley so much
i had a drip in my arm
and the nurse wouldnt take it out
and i needed a shower
to stop the ipain again
so i ripped it out mself
Alex McCallum says (12:16 AM)
and blood went everywhere
all ov er the floor
and they were so angry
i threw it in the bin
and took a shower sitting down
missing shell so much
she was the onlt thing getting me thru
sigh
then i took a sterioid and the pain went away
i was so upset cos
i didnt wanna take them
Alex McCallum says (12:17 AM)
they caused so much damage
from weight gain
sitting in the shower alone
for 2 weeks
missing shelley
with a drip in my arm
she was everything and she doesnt know it
Brooke Reid says (12:18 AM)
She’ll regret it though.
Alex McCallum says (12:18 AM)
she wont
shes beautiful
and popular
she realised it
and changed
it hurt so much
i couldnt really talk to you
Alex McCallum says (12:19 AM)
or vik
or anyone
infront of me too much pain
Brooke Reid says (12:19 AM)
She fucked up her life, majorly.
Alex McCallum says (12:19 AM)
she used to bea wonderful person
and everything to me my best friend
for 2 years
then she changed
Brooke Reid says (12:20 AM)
._.
Alex McCallum says (12:20 AM)
we kept in contact
on the phone
for a whole year
i called her
when i had that shit on my neck
remember i was freaking out?
that was to get the drug for my hearing
in sydney
alone again
i told no one
Alex McCallum says (12:21 AM)
except u
Brooke Reid says (12:21 AM)
Yeah.
Alex McCallum says (12:21 AM)
i called shell while i was in there laying on the bed on morphine but
i couldnt explain it all to her
she
lll
never know
just how much
she got me thru
and was my hope and my friend
Alex McCallum says (12:22 AM)
all along
so now i look back
and realise
my hope wasnt real and
i was addicted to sterioids and didnt even know it
my body was……..
im not nice im just
honestly i dunno
Brooke Reid says (12:24 AM)
You are.
I still cant believe my best friend ditched me after i forgave her. During my first few weeks of chemotherapy, it hurt so much. I told her i forgave her but really i was still hurting so badly I couldn’t sleep or eat. When you suddenly lose everything that keeps you trying and you’re lost, confused, hurt and in disbelief that, that person could do this to you life really sucks.
six months passed and i dont think she even remembers me after i gave so much for her. ‘Where are you Alex? I miss you, call me.” “I’m back to myself I’m back!” I don’t believe that was a lie. But where is Alex? I remember him too. He’s gone, he forgave you and you betrayed his trust. I still hear his voice in my head.
I wont let that happen, please understand I promise……
The chemo still isnt over its cost 24 thousand dollars and ive done every step of it alone….. since the day i told you about it in January 2010 when you told me brumby was a stupid word to when you called while i was in Sydney to tell me about Alan and his band, to Brad telling you he wont be your friend, to when you were away on holiday..
I only hear alex in my head cos I cant hear anything or anyone else any more.
I miss you my old friend.
say it if its worth saving me ;(
I miss you … Alex
Hey shell some wonderful friends you have, I havent said a word to u or them in a long time and this is just cruel…
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Jodie Chodie Cushway My dad just asked me waht happened to stalky Alex and asked if he was dead yet lmao.
8 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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AliceTard Mellissa Hughes lmao!
is he dead? :’)
8 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Jodie Chodie Cushway Nah, he’s in a relationship apparently. :’)
8 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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AliceTard Mellissa Hughes ohhh,
i wanna see!
link me up?
That girl lied about havin’ conor peeks baby! :o
8 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Jodie Chodie Cushway I know! I just saw it on Tumblr!
Wasn’t it an online picture? :/
8 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Jodie Chodie Cushway Creepy:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000464128680
8 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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AliceTard Mellissa Hughes yeah, he justed posted it on here too! wtf. that a titsfanny thing to do,
8 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Jodie Chodie Cushway Ikr! That’s horrible. :/
8 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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AliceTard Mellissa Hughes might add him again :’)
Yeah i know, proper sick :\
8 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Jodie Chodie Cushway I might too and be like, “dude why aren’t you dead?” :’)
8 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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AliceTard Mellissa Hughes yes!
fuck it, ima do it.
8 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Jodie Chodie Cushway I’ll do it too.
8 hours ago · LikeUnlike · 1 personLoading…
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Jodie Chodie Cushway I’m actually going to ask him if he’s killed himself. ;D
8 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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AliceTard Mellissa Hughes same!
he needs to hurry up and accept :)
8 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Jodie Chodie Cushway Yes yesss! ;D
8 hours ago · Like