I still cant believe my best friend ditched me after i forgave her. During my first few weeks of chemotherapy, it hurt so much. I told her i forgave her but really i was still hurting so badly I couldn’t sleep or eat. When you suddenly lose everything that keeps you trying and you’re lost, confused, hurt and in disbelief that, that person could do this to you life really sucks.

six months passed and i dont think she even remembers me after i gave so much for her. ‘Where are you Alex? I miss you, call me.” “I’m back to myself I’m back!” I don’t believe that was a lie. But where is Alex? I remember him too. He’s gone, he forgave you and you betrayed his trust. I still hear his voice in my head. 

I wont let that happen, please understand I promise……

The chemo still isnt over its cost 24 thousand dollars and ive done every step of it alone….. since the day i told you about it in January 2010 when you told me brumby was a stupid word to when you called while i was in Sydney to tell me about Alan and his band, to Brad telling you he wont be your friend, to when you were away on holiday..

I only hear alex in my head cos I cant hear anything or anyone else any more.

I miss you my old friend.